Everyone is emotionally abusive to me now.  I got underground famous, and I met an older Late Baby Boomer European lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, but she became underground famous over me like there's something wrong with me.  It's been approaching 5 years, and now it seems it will never end.  Some people keep acting like I'm nothing and she should be distracted, famous over me.  Now, I can't stand being around some other people and know someday she could die.  They are using my distance personal life with her to "use" things and belittle me, like if I like her and respect her they think that means she's better etc.  They like her because she's smart about emotional things and they discovered her, but I think it's to ruin it for me.  They already were mean to me all the time.  They claimed my dad would hurt me if they were nice to me.  He thought he had to do it because my mom acted unreasonably sometimes or lasting for awhile.  He really seemed to have a problem, though.  They didn't seem worried about my future, and now they are dead.  I'm mostly upset the older lady will die someday and I will be left alone.  I'm supposed to have a sole relationship with her, like instead of trying to interact with too many other people, not sure how her social life is supposed to be affected.  Also, people are trying to get her to lose her grip on me and making me feel okay regarding when she dies.  Some people are going wild and getting their personality out doing this, some just saying I'm nothing straight out because she seems so much better and maybe because they are mean to me anyway and I'm younger like many of them.  I also am sad I lost some connection with some people to do with her.  It was supposed to be good and discover and treat feelings.  I showed physical anger in private in proximity to something to do with the lady and so now it's been very depressing and now with less sign of hope.  I was trying to hint earlier in this post that I thought she was better in many ways, but I still had my relationship with her, and now they say I finally succumbed, like I'm weak.  They're on a case to track my personal life with her, and I my relationship with her may seem to suffer in some ways, but they're annoying in general to be around.  Every little problem can escalate because I know she will die someday.  I get indicated I'm not worth it anymore to some people I can't avoid.  The people monitoring me in private won't stop clowning around with my sad life.  Also, now people say I'm not all that and what about everyone else and their kids, like they think I shouldn't have this "relationship," if they can't have it to but like I'm bad now.