They've gotten meaner and meaner to me without recovery and like I'm really bad honing in on and noticing and paying attention to a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older Late Baby Boomer European.

They follow my wondering about what they desire of me, and then they address it and it comes into effect.

I've been hearing the "relationship" with the lady is cancelled, just because I was feeling bad from the people monitoring me in private being mean and I realized something very mean how I was communicated.

People think this lady needs all this attention to feel better in older age and like she will be in Heaven or something, but they sacrificed me, like the older lady can talk to me instead, but then she's not really and they suggested I could never see her because I felt bad yesterday.  They also went back and said she must have been involved and if I so much as felt upset it's unacceptable.

I've been feeling so low, and they think they must go on and be mean to me, anyway.  They gave up on that I would have a better time because the people monitoring me in private kept punishing me for thoughts etc. and little things that ticked them off, and then I showed a sign of physical anger, for awhile and still being teased by others, to do with proximity of something to do with the lady.  It's pretty much been over, like that's okay.  Now, I feel like dying, I see, though.  That's okay?  Someday, the lady will die, and I don't feel like being left over in this world, as Baby Boomers's hand are held on their way to glory, while I feel like dying and still have to go through life, feeling bad from the past and my "relationship" with the lady ruined.

I didn't do anything that bad, but people can treat me how they want and they still get treated with respect, other people.  I'm a good person and have been my whole life.  People get mad if they can figure out a way.

It's inconvenient for people to be nice to me, and they decide to notice more things now and admit it.

I don't feel like putting up with living in a world suddenly centered about Late Baby Boomers dying or "taking it" all from people who really have people old enough to be their parent dying as they hit their 80s and 90s.  My "relationships" have already been compromised, in the process.

It's like the older lady is favored by all, while it's over for me.

I was left hanging in the last group home like things may not get better, I felt sometimes.

Others keep their relationships with others involved and get that sense of natural security, like I'm not good enough for that, too, though.

In the end, I don't get a lot of things and have problems others don't.  Something comes up, when I'm mistreated like I am not allowed to feel bad.  It's made into a big deal.  However, it doesn't matter anymore to others and it's okay if I'm not okay in the end.

They keep acting like it's my fault they act so silly and do everything in cycles and have messages pop up..