Every time the page loads, the people monitoring me in private set it to send me a message, and lately it's all been about seeing me as tacky and submissive and a loser.  It's something mean all the time from them, like I blew it.  Every little thing also gets them worked up.  I might have been happier otherwise, just got to a new group home with a nice room as the top/3rd floor and it's pretty quiet.  I've been feeling very badly, and this only makes it worse.  I keep feeling reminded an older Late Boomer European lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with will die well before me, probably.