I've been feeling really low and in torment.  It happens when I wake up, maybe I need to catch up on rest.  I get sad about the focus and how people focus that people die someday, like people who act like parents who are old enough to be your parents.  It gets worse each day.  The idea of, like, my soul living forever also doesn't make me happier.   I don't see why dying now would be resting in peace, for some reason, but I wouldn't take my life.

It might be how people think I am bad or in trouble helping.  I feel others take similar frustrations and inklings from being treated badly to do with race on me.

I feel happy about where I am.

It might be the lingering effects of the coronavirus shots, too.

Like I've said, I may have run out of a medication and need to see my doctors.

I hold dreams to go to Germany, too, maybe making money from film acting.  I'm still recuperating after finally moving out of the last place, but I'm hitting the gym to get in shape, too.